


Draecember 2017 Day Twenty Four: You Should Have Listined to Me

by Zillidan



Series: Draecember 2017 [24]
Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Letter to Myself, Reflection, Talking to Myself, draecember2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-20 17:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13151049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zillidan/pseuds/Zillidan
Summary: Taking a pause after Legion, Jen writes a letter to her past.





	Draecember 2017 Day Twenty Four: You Should Have Listined to Me

Dear Jenovaar, Butcherer of the Legion  
So here you are, after twenty-five thousand years of willingly abandoning the people that loved and cared for you, evaluating your time with the Legion. You knew initially that it wasn't the right thing to do. You felt it in your heart and saw it in your eyes, yet the power and beauty of it all was much too tempting. You joined them, hunted your own people, killed them, destroyed entire planets, and now you stand at the end of your time. Soon you will betray them like you betrayed your own people. You will leave the Legion, join back up with your people after begging for redemption, and spend the rest of your days thwarting the Burning Legion. Though you will never receive this letter, I know you would be happy to hear the news of the Legion’s defeat. At the time, you as a powerful Man’ari of the Burning Legion didn’t know what you were doing, or how you were going to do it. Yet somehow, through the loneliness and sheer will you will triumph, fight for the right side, and ultimately destroy the organization you helped grow strong over the worst years of your life.

There are three prominent versions of us and they each served their own purposes. Our early years taught us fairness. It taught us that not everything we wanted was going to be handed to us or even possible. Yet we found our place in this world and formed relationships necessary to get us through those hard times. That version of us was the smartest, she made the right friends. Had she continued to be the best of us then I feel as if we would have achieved anything we could have hoped for. She would have laughed at you, cried at the choices you made, as I do as well. She would have told you to stop and think twice about what you are doing, but you had taken over her mind already at that point The power seduced you into corrupting our better third. If she was around now, she would have shaken her head and scolded us for not heeding the warnings and staying the path.

Now you came along and taught us something different. Now that the best of us had vanished into the night, it was my turn to wrestle you back home. You enjoyed it, all of it. The way you killed, the power you had over the lives of others. You wanted that control, the control our younger self never had. You robbed lives and destinies for a cathartic feeling that was short-lived, like a bad drug. I think you taught us all humility. Your arrogance and selfishness were so destructive both physically and mentally. It was all about you and the power you had, but what did that get us? Barely a pat on the back from an organization ran by a mad god. Our better third wouldn’t have even bared to look at you. How could she? You took everything she built up and destroyed it. She would have wanted you to stop, but you wouldn’t. Not until the losses mounted for you personally did it matter, but there is that selfishness creeping back in. Maybe it was the kick your ass needed to finally stop all of the destruction, hatred, and violence for the service of evil.  
The current version of us isn't perfect, I will never say that. I take the best and worst attributes from you and her, depending on who is viewing them. I like to think I'm nice like her, caring, sweet, always trying to help. I like to think I took from you your strength and power, with more caution. I know from her I took her timidness, the way she couldn't stand talking in public, making that first move. It was always a struggle for me to get moving. From you, I took your short temper and some of the ugliest, darkest desires that were harbored and formed in those long millennia. I can’t shake them, and I know she would hate that about me and blame you for them. In truth, I blame myself, for holding onto those things and never letting them go. I think what I bring to us is a balance. While I think she is the best version of us, I know she would point back at me and convince me I'm the best. Looking back I slowly have to start agreeing with her, not out of vanity but of wisdom. We are who we are, shaped by the events and choices we make. We can't go back and only forward. Even though you were the worst of us, you evolved us into the being we had to be in order to help stop the Burning Legion. I wouldn't exist if it wasn't for you, but that doesn't excuse you from your atrocities.

In closing, I think the picture of our growing together as a family is growing clearer each day for the future.You know what you did and you aren't sorry for it, I know you. That said, I don’t think she would have ever seen what I would grow into. I will always maintain she was the best version of us and I'll take it to my final death. She would have screamed at you to listen to her, but I don’t think she would have seen what we would become unless she would look in hindsight, which she never will that sweet innocent girl. If she could see myself now, I think she would have bitten her tongue. While you were a terrible being, you did have your redeeming qualities. You took a shy, weak girl and made her powerful enough to help defeat the ancient enemy of her people, yet returned me to whatever sane life I live now in order to have the mindset to change sides. That I will always thank you for, but I think you should have listened to her. If she would have survived this long, perhaps we could have the life we so want at this point. Still, I will do my best to carry out your legacy and hers to the best of my ability in whatever years I have left in this world. That is a promise I will make to you two.

Sincerely

Jen, Cruel but Kind

**Author's Note:**

> This was a cathartic experience Jen wanted to have with herself. Addressing the three stages of her life separately, she looks to reconnect with the early part of her life and reconcile with her challenging middle. In the end, she fully accepts her destructive part. While no full unashamed, she recognizes the advancements of her life were not without reason and ultimately the victory earned at the end of Legion was because of that part of her life. Now that she has dealt with that aspect of her life, she is ready to send her letter to the flames and move on with her life a bit more guilt-free.


End file.
